My Big Fat Ogre Wedding

Remember that time in 2013 when the meme “Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life” meme was born? My biggest character flaw is that I never moved on from it. I have an intense fascination with the Shrek franchise. On the objective side, I think they’re cinematic masterpieces. Note: By “they’re” I’m referring to the first two films; it all went downhill after the Shrek the Third. I admire these movies for their satiric excellence and ability to age fairly well.

But my love for Shrek has no bounds. I don’t just love Shrek, I LIVE for Shrek. It is my life source and inspiration. It is what has kept me going through the harshest times. You might even call my obsession quite Ogre-aggressive. It is a great worry for most of my friends and family. Honestly, now that I think about it, it might even be the reason why I am still single.

One night, a revolutionary thought came to me: you know how most girls have a Pinterest Board for their future weddings? I have one already for my wedding to Timothée Chalamet. Well, what if I planned a Shrek-themed wedding?

Here’s my take on a Shrektacular Wedding. And yes, of course, the first dance song will be to Smashmouth’s “All-Star”.